Steps to obtaining a waifu
by Senzaemon
Summary: Doing things that are in no way related to academics or skills will most likely result in a fiasco when it comes to Asano Gakushuu. AsanoxKarma


**steps to obtaining a waifu;**

* * *

One of the most horrifying things Asano Gakushuu will ever witness in his life is not watching his father channel his ice cold fury at something, or rather, someone. It is his father going completely ape-shit crazy at him that scares him the most.

He stands in a corner of the office, in front of the trophy shelf that's filled with gold medals, certificates, whatever. All with his name scrawled on them.

Asano Gakuhou is currently taking out his temper at a cactus plant, unaware that Gakushuu had been in the room waiting to be noticed, since, _hell it was Gakuhou that was summoned him._

The innocent cactus plant seems to shrivel a bit under the ramblings of the Board Chairman. Sadly, being the inanimate object that it was, it had no choice but to just sit there…like an inanimate object.

"Board Chairman. I believe you called for me," Gakushuu interjects, when the potted plant is swept off the table, his violet eyes flickering with something unreadable. Really, he wasn't the one who signed up for this shit.

Gakuhou ceases all of his raging at once, and fixes Gakushuu with one of the traditional Asano family glares.

Gakushuu can't help but shiver.

"Explain." Gakuhou hisses, holding up a copy of the school rankings, where Akabane Karma's name was highlighted in red at the top.

Gakushuu doesn't say anything. Actually, he hasn't got anything he can say that could justify this, so he settles with digging his nails into his palms and looking at anywhere but his father.

Gakuhou lets out a smile, the one that was rather demonic and creepy, and says, "I'll expect this problem to be solved by next Monday." Translation: Deal with Akabane Karma in whatever way you see fit and get the fuck out of my sight now.

Gakushuu doesn't waste any time taking off.

* * *

Somewhere at the back of his mind, Gakushuu vaguely recalls that there's a phrase that goes something like, "If you can't beat them, join them."

No, he doesn't like the sound of that.

"If they beat you, make them join you."

That sounded a lot better.

* * *

When Sakakibara Ren receives a task as the Student Council secretary, he tries not to look uninterested at the details.

"Gather all the background information you can find on Akabane Karma of Class E," Gakushuu mentions to him out of the blue, "And make sure no one knows about this," the orange haired boy adds as an afterthought.

So here Sakakibara was, in the dead of the night, creeping into the school grounds and going through Karma's locker.

Holy shit, just how many love letters did that guy have?

And was that a bottle of chloroform at the back of his locker?

Some things should go unquestioned.

But other than that, there wasn't anything useful in Karma's locker, so Sakakibara decides to go through the one next to it hoping that whoever's it belonged to, there would be at least something useful.

He repositions his flashlight, and unlike Karma's locker, the one on the right looked _clean_. A name was scrawled on a label that read _Shiota Nagisa._

Oh well, why not.

He yanks open the locker and all he sees are textbooks and a bright pink folder.

Maybe Nagisa was a fangirl and would have something useful.

Sakakibara grabs the pink folder and everything promptly falls out.

 _Did that Nagisa fucker not learn to use clip folders properly?!_

"Have you gotten anything interesting yet, Ren?" A voice rings out in the silence and Sakakibara freezes out of instinct and tries to look at whoever the hell was shining the flashlight right into his eyes.

Footsteps echo along the hallway and the beam of light is replaced by pair of too-familiar violet eyes.

"Asano, I thought you had already gone home," Sakakibara says, relieved.

"I'm just sticking around to see if you've found anything interesting," Gakushuu says, motioning to the documents and pictures scattered on the floor, "And it seems like you have. Good work."

The photographs and pieces of paper on the floor were all, surprisingly, related to Akabane Karma.

There's Karma in a pink frilly apron and a matching cap.

Karma with his nails done, sickeningly pink and glittery.

And then there's Karma, naked with his junk completely exposed in the school shower stall, half turned to the camera and obviously failing to notice a picture being taken.

What the actual fuck, Nagisa.

(Sakakibara turns multiple shades of red and all Gakushuu can think is, _damn that's kinky_ )

* * *

Being an Asano, Gakushuu had managed to get all the pictures and documents of Karma copied and replaced in Nagisa's locker by one in the morning, all done in under half an hour.

Seated in his room, he can hear his father vaguely yelling on his phone somewhere above him.

The boy flips through all the photographs first, all of them depicting Karma very suggestively. There's a jar of lotion on his desk to tend to any…emergencies that might arise (haha puns).

Akabane Karma was actually pretty good looking, but still not as half as good looking as Asano Gakushuu. He wouldn't be too bad of an addition to the five virtuosos.

No, wait. Karma would be more fitting to be his boyfriend. They could probably reign over the school together quite easily, and then Asano Gakuhou can become their slave or maybe just a toilet cleaner at school.

He liked the sound of that, after all, anyone who was deemed fit to be with an Asano had to be good looking and smart. Akabane Karma fulfilled both these criteria.

Gakushuu flips through the documents and finds the entiretyof Akabane Karma's personal profile which ranges from his weight to his personal past and even a family tree that stretches to his mother's grandmother's third cousin's stepfather.

The only thing left was figuring out how to obtain Akabane Karma.

Gakushuu decides that he'll think of a plan.

But first, he just needs to get rid of the uncomfortable thing between his legs.

* * *

Now that all was done and analyzed, Gakushuu just needed a way to ask Karma to be his, or rather, command Karma to be his. It's not like anyone can resist his sexiness.

(And oh no, in no way possible does Gakushuu have a god complex)

Heck, he'll just wing it.

He's never lost to anyone except Karma before. And that had only happened once, so it was impossible for him to fail. Asanos never lost to the same person twice.

"I'll walk to school," he tells his driver in the morning when the car is prepared for him.

He turns into a neighborhood that he's not very familiar with. All thanks to Nagisa and his map to Karma's house which was hidden in the pile of documents.

A flash of red catches Gakushuu's eye and he practically has to ram his head against a tree to get rid of his sexual needs when the vermillion haired, grey eyed sex on legs emerges from his apartment.

Time to get this shit done. How hard can it get?

Gakushuu doesn't waste time thinking over his nonexistent plan and promptly jogs over to Karma, pretending to very conveniently bump into him on his way to school.

Cue word vomit.

"Oi, Karma, you have a really shitty last name." Oh shit oh shit, where was the filter between his brain and his mouth?

Karma turns to him, acting as though seeing Gakushuu everyday was a normal experience, "Well, it's not like I can do anything about it. Plus, like yours is better. It means, 'easy wild' when directly translated, no?" He mocks.

Gakushuu shoots him a glare, "Well, at least mine would suit you a lot better," he says and proceeds to walk away. Karma was messing with his rationality too much for his liking.

Karma just stares at Gakushuu's retreating back, completely dumbfounded.

Did he fucking just…?

* * *

終

* * *

a/n

(yes, he just fucking proposed)

Came across this idea on tumblr

I'm thoroughly convinced that between Gakushuu and Karma, Karma is the uke no matter he doesn't want to be.

Reviews make me want to write

Constructive criticism is always good

~Ichiro


End file.
